"The Pursuit of Happiness..."

Walking down the empty streets reflecting a thousand dreams
Running down the feilds filled wih the bright sun beams,
He thought he knew where resides that eventual Freedom
Which passed beyond man and life......

He travelled, He secluded, He abandoned into the untamed sites
He fled into the world which was free from any humanly joints.
He was alone and He felt free as He had surpassed the socially ordered life....

His voyages were continuous, His wanderings vividly wide
But His mind still overflowed with that one question
Which asked, "Where exactly Freedom resides?"

He realized it did not rest only outside the humanly sites,
also did not rest beyond men and their lives.
If it resided in anything it was,
within His work, within his ties,
And within His very own Mind......


I was once asked by a highly wise freind in my life, the definition of "Freedom".
It appeared to me prima facie a very banal question, the answer of which i thought was very simplistic. I was overconfidently about to answer the what Freedom meant for me when I realized that I could not sustain my explanation for more than some words which spoke of "Space", "Liberty", "Unrestrained life", et al. That somewhere had put me to think.........
Does Freedom only encompasses "being free" from someone or something? This is what the dictionary meaning of Freedom says but we don't limit it to that, do we? Well, atleast I would not. I have also heard many people talking about Freedom being Absolute, without any limitations, restrictions, constraints and basically without anything that has the capacity of curbing their acts; Restrictions, limitations and contraints which are usually in the form of "Bonds", "Attachments" or "Ties", Those very bonds we have with our Families, Freinds, Well-wishers, our Work, or for this matter anything that has the capacity to bind or attach us.

It is so rightly said that no one can be as happily Free as one is when one Travels and Wanders.
According to me, "Travelling is a remedial bliss".
Just like the "He" in my poem, I too was of the belief that Travelling and Wandering are two things that have the capacity of giving us that eventual Freedom which rests beyond any human relationships and beyond anything that has the capacity to bind or attach us. I was also like the "He" in my poem, of the opinion that the combination of Solitude and Travel would gain one that eventual Freedom. But We are all here to grow. So was the He in my poem and so am I.
We all grew to realize that Freedom does not only rest outside of the humanly bonds and most importantly a person is not only Free when He/She is alone.

"Attachment" - The intensely deep feeling. The kind of feeling which plays with our illusions, attained only by someone who is detached.
Freedom rests in our attachments, bonds, constraints, relationships and not outside it.
It rests within our work and mind. It certainly isn't something that one finds by searching. It is always there, pre-existent. It manifests itself in the beautiful bonds that relationships produce. Freedom establishes itself in the efficient balance that we manage to create between Seclusion and Relationships. It also establishes itself in the balance that we manage to achieve between our Customary life and our time with the Nature. It rests very much within us, within ourselves.
The kind of Freedom which rests in the beauty of getting back to someone, The kind of Joy which doubles when Shared. The Ultimate Happiness, The pure Freedom..!





Nevertheless We also realized how equally important it is to give yourself that time to be alone, only with yourself, "Where it's only You to Tell and No ne but You to Listen, Where There is only You who Ask and No one but You who Answer."


P.s. Inspired by- Out of the book movie- "Into the Wild." And
"Guaranteed"-a song by "Eddie Vedder."

Let Yourself Be In Love!!

A: Mayuu, I wanted to tell you this one very important thing.....
Me: Hey! U sounding so happy! Tell me.....
A: Mayu, I think I love him.
Me: Whom? When did this happen and most importantly, how is it that i don't know about this?
Okay! Let me guess....I think I kinda know about this, don't I?
A: Yess..You are right! I thought about it a lot and I guess I was acting stupid!
Me: Ya! You were just trying to supress your feelings for him and in turn trying to run away from the situation!
A: I totally agree with you mayu....But you know wat? I am feelin so happy to let it out to someone.... feel very contented though I somewhere know what future holds for me......
Me: That's good and i also know that requires lots of understanding and maturity....But there must be atleast something that you must be expecting, right?
A: No! Nothing at all! I want to keep loving him with all those intensly endless doubts.....
Me: And unlike all our other friends, I love you for that decision! Afterall, isn't Love All About Giving And Not Having!
A: Ya! I don't care about the consequences as far as I love him....
Me: And I respect you for that!
A: Thanks!



Initially I was very dubious about posting this conversation that I shared with one of my dearest friends...
Not only because it was very personal but also because I wanted an independent existence of the thoughts that I wanted to put forward. I had been thinking about this for quite some time and I wanted to come to some appropriate conclusion...I was just on the verge of forming some conclusions with very less apposite facts when consequently I had the opportunity to share this very beautiful conversation with my friend.
Beautiful not only because she was sharing one of the most important decisions of her life but Beautiful also because it helped me form some conclusions for myself.....And I can very conveniently say that my post would be incomplete without this conversation.



I often wonder about this, I mean so many people might be supressing their feelings towards the person they love the most in their lives; with ofcourse reasons multiple and diverse. But the most common of all resons being- "Absence of mutual giving and receiving of love". Very comfortably you convince your soul to move on though your soul remains equally unconvinced...Its not that you live unhappily the rest of your lives if you practice that suppression of love though anomalistically your heart does feel the disparity.
No matter what, you cannot forget somethings in life. The harder you try equally failed your efforts go..Your soul is lost in debility allowing your distant past to make connection with your present and letting the silence erase the intervening years.

You keep convincing yourself that if not you then the person you love the most in your live is the Sun in somebody else's Sky. But at the same time you cannot stop yourself from questioning the absence of the Sun in your Sky or the presence of darkness in your sky.....


But nature balances and also teaches you to!
With those lessons learnt and trying to practise to balance, you let yourself fall in love again. The fact might still remains, that in maximum cases you don't fall in love again.....This time, its more like an Illusion of Love!

"First time what happens is Love, all the other times its Life"
-This holds so Goddamn true every time!

So, this time what has happened with you is Life and not Love.....But again You have a great Acceptance-Level towards everything- Love and Life. And therefore you accept the Love that Life offers you and vice versa". And then you move on though with frequent thoughts and memories whether sad or happy from your past love..
Now, you supposedly start enjoying your life with the person whom you try hard to convince yourself to be with...Very comfortably you give and accept love to this new person disregarding the pain you feel within by suppressing your feelings towards the person you still love the most in your life.....The very same person you loved, you love and will keep Loving.....

You cannot spend the rest of your lives with the person you don't love and keep him/her under an illusion and consequently you cannot spend he rest of your lives with the person you love because of reasons multiple and diverse.....

Your tormented heart now needs answers.....
Well, may be the least that is expected from you is accept what you truly love and live life. That does somewhere leave a scope to think to ourselves that it might just mean living alone or single! But the facts in my post are silent about what that would mean and hence I would want to leave it up to people to decide indiviually what that line means..It sounds very dificult and becomes one of the most difficult truths of your life. It is the one of the most difficult compromise to fulfill.. But it will certainly soothe if not assuage your pain.

It is highly important to be in love. So for its significance and for reasons infinite, just Let Yourself Be In Love!
You cannot disregard the importance of "moving on". But that also depends upon what is the essence of "Moving on".
"Moving on" for you might mean letting yourself fall in love all over again. "Moving on" for me might mean falling in love with my my family, my friends, my work,my passions, et al though very much in continuity with my existing feelings for my love and with a comfortable realisation of the consequences. And "Moving on" for a third person might mean something else.
Its subjective with an exception of non-suppression! Just exonerate yourself from the feeling of suppression because suppressing your feelings is not the only way out. Infact it worsens the situation..It will amount to running away from your very self and from your very life.....

Love yourself and keep loving what you loved, What you love and What you will be loving.......
With this very soon you will see yourself creating beauty from the depths of your wounded soul!

"One Hand In My Pocket".....

Yeah! I've got my one hand in my pocket and the other one is playing the song- "One hand in the pocket" by Alanis Morissette in my cell phone..
Well, there is nothing all that great about this song but I can relate so much to this song and i am sure most of us will. If not to the entire song then atleast to any one verse in the song.
So, I would want to make this song an entirely independant element of my post.
Seriously, it would have required something to make this song. So elegantly Simple and so Goddamn true!...Err, I think I was supposed to write the song....So without any furtherance of my Opinions and analysis and in turn to save the embarrassment, I would want u guys to have a look at this one. Here it goes-

"ONE HAND IN MY POCKET"

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but i'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I 'm young but I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm worthless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby

And what it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm shy but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano

What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab.........

At times, arent we Antithesis??But we love ourselves and dont worry guys coz everything's gonna be just fine!

P.s- Happy New Year people! Enjoy the year ahead with loads and loads of smiles! :) :)

I can feel an emptiness overcrowding my mind and simultaneously i can feel that my soul is caught in the maelstrom of thoughts....quite an ambivalent situation that is.......Yeah!...Dats the state of mind that i am in right now And that's exactly why i want to start writing.....Start writing in a hope to find answers to the questions i have been overburdened with....or the least to manifest on this medium the battle with my own thoughts........Well, initially i might be as bad as i am right now but gradually i will learn........though continuity is something i wont promise.........For now, this bit of gabble is more than enough....I can already see you guys giving me those looks..;(

*yawn*